The Family: The Hope of the New Evangelization
A Pastoral Letter by
Most Reverend Nicholas DiMarzio
Bishop of Brooklyn
October, 2005

Introduction

            On the second anniversary of my Installation as your Bishop in the Diocese of Brooklyn, I am pleased to present this second pastoral letter that deals with the meaning and importance of the family.  The family is the essential building block not only of our society but also of the Church.  Our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, of happy memory, stated that “the history of mankind, the history of salvation, passes by way of the family.”[i] The future vitality of the Church depends upon the health of all our families.

          As I begin this pastoral reflection, our Church recognizes that families face enormous challenges in our contemporary society. For example, many parents have been put under considerable pressure by our society both to work and to care for their children.  Many families now face the prospect of raising children with only one parent or with the assistance of grandparents or extended family members. A growing number of families must also struggle to address the needs of elderly parents, overcome financial problems, deal with the devastating effects of addiction or abuse that exists among their family members and to struggle to pass on the faith to their children, many of whom no longer practice their faith or live lifestyles contrary to the teachings of the Church. Our Diocese and its parishes are committed to stand by our families and to assist them to meet these challenges and to grow in health and holiness.

My first pastoral letter issued last year, entitled The New Evangelization in Brooklyn and Queens, is intimately connected to this letter on the family because the work of the New Evangelization cannot begin in earnest unless there are strong families that make up the Body of Christ, the Church.  In His ministry, Jesus proclaims “the Gospel of the family,”[ii] truly good news about the family.  More specifically, the family in which Jesus was raised, the Holy Family of Nazareth, is the model for all family life.  Further, each family is called to live a communion of love that mirrors not only the example of the Holy Family of Nazareth, but also the communion of the Blessed Trinity whose image we find in every human family.  It is my hope that this pastoral reflection on the place of the family in our society and Church will help us to create a better environment in which our families can flourish and accomplish their true purpose and bring good news to the world.  

The Meaning of the Christian Family

          The Christian family is a privileged communion of love through which God has revealed His divine love in the world.   Many of our deepest human relationships are found in our families. The union of a husband and wife, the relationship between parents and children, the bond that exists between extended family members are all experiences of love that point us to the God of divine love who is always self-giving and the source of all unity.  This divine love is first expressed in our creation in the divine image.  Each of us is created in the image and likeness of God who is pure love.  This means that we are most like God when we love as God does, when we accomplish our true purpose in life by giving of ourselves to others. 

The capacity to love is written not only in our souls and hearts but also our bodies.  We are all created, male and female, through the Divine Plan.  This means that there is a certain structure or “grammar” to our capacity to love that flows from the very structure of our human bodies.  The unitive force of our relationships tells how we can and must love one another, especially in the most intimate relationship between a husband and wife.  The fundamental unity between body and soul does not depend upon our choice but rather our true happiness depends upon our discovery and respect for this unity.

          The love between a husband and wife is both a sublime expression of divine love and a unique reflection of the creative power that God shares with humanity.  As Catholics, we believe that married love has two essential ends: unitive and procreative. This means that the love between a husband and wife unites them into an intimate, loving union of mind and heart that helps each partner to grow in love and fidelity. This unitive aspect of marriage receives its fullest expression in the conjugal act that is open to the procreative power of the love between a husband and wife in the conception and nurturing of children. Thus, the unitive and procreative ends of married love are inseparable and together constitute the true meaning of Christian married love.

At times it is difficult for married couples to mirror God’s love. However, it is their special calling as sharers in the sacrament of marriage.  As a result, the love between a husband and wife demands fidelity, commitment and mutuality of mind and heart.  These virtues are not easy to find in today’s world.  For example, the fidelity that is pledged in the sacrament of marriage by a husband and wife takes a lifetime to accomplish.  To be faithful to one person is never an easy task.  The distractions of life and the interventions of others can help corrode the commitment shared between spouses.  Yet, the commitment given by the placement of the marriage ring on the hand of a spouse, this “unbroken circle of love,” demands that the promise of marriage be kept for a lifetime. 

          Promises cannot be kept unless they are understood.  There must be a mutual understanding of mind and heart that develops between spouses.  A marriage is never completed on the day of the wedding.  Rather, it is a beginning of a lifelong, committed journey to develop a profound union between a husband and wife for one another.  The love that a couple feels on the day of their wedding is never sufficient to carry their marriage to its natural end upon the death of one of the spouses.  Love must grow daily by the gift of self and by the many sacrifices required by those who are married.

          It is for this reason that the human institution of marriage has been raised to the dignity of a sacrament by Christ Himself.  Marriage, the union of a man and a woman, has existed from the beginning of time.   As Catholics we believe that in the fullness of time the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity entered the world in the birth of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, and in the midst of His public ministry made clear that marriage is not merely a human institution for those who believe in Him.  Rather, He elevated the fundamental union between a Christian man and woman to the level of a sacrament--a sacrament in which the life of God is communicated in a special way to the couple that is freely united to each other in Christ.  This sacramental union of a baptized man and woman can never be dissolved or ended by human means.   It is a lifelong commitment that mirrors the love and union of Christ for His Church.

          Unfortunately, the number of sacramental marriages has diminished over the last decade for many deep-seated reasons, some of which will be mentioned later in this pastoral letter.[iii]  However, there are also a number of prevalent social attitudes that have also reduced the number of Church marriages and need to be evaluated.  For example, a Church marriage does not require the spending of thousands of dollars on receptions, photographers, flowers and many other non-essentials, all the while maintaining the proper dignity that a sacramental marriage deserves. There are some individuals who see the celebration of the sacrament of marriage in a church setting as something beyond their financial capability. Others, unfortunately, see the sacrament beyond their personal ability to make a permanent commitment.  In any case, satisfying current social norms should never be used as criteria to determine whether a couple should approach the Church for a sacramental marriage.  In our catechesis with our young people, we must teach the true nature of the sacrament. 

Divine Love as Creative and Life Giving

            In order to understand the place that the divine love has in our lives, we must remember that God’s love is creative and life giving.  Since our lives are created and sustained by the free love of God, we can best understand our relationship to God when we reflect upon the story of our creation.  In the Book of Genesis we hear that God created man and woman in a free act of love and endowed them with a free will that is inviolable.  We also read that this gift of human freedom was abused through an act of disobedience for God’s command. This tension between the nature of true freedom and human rebellion is played out in the first human family.  Adam and Eve, our first parents, conceived their children in pain and suffering because of their original disobedience.  Their first children, Cain and Abel, became the first example of family destruction when Cain killed Abel.  If this occurred from the beginning, what can we expect now?  The tensions and difficulties in family life are nothing new.  However, the unitive and creative power of God’s love, expressed in the sacrament of marriage, can strengthen the ability of all married couples to overcome this tension as much as possible and live their true call to love each other and their family freely and completely.

          The most sublime expression of the unitive and procreative power of married love is the conjugal act between a husband and wife in the procreation of children.  The Book of Genesis reminds us that we were created to be fruitful, to multiply and to bring new life into the world.   Thus, the meaning of the Christian family is intimately tied to an openness both to the creation and protection of human life, thereby bringing new life and renewal to the Church.  In the marriage ceremony, the couple is asked if they will accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ in His Church.  When they respond yes, they make a promise that needs to be reaffirmed continually in the course of their marriage commitment.  Openness to the conception, protection and nurturing of new life is an essential component in every Christian marriage precisely because it faithfully reflects the creative power of God’s divine love.

 An openness to life on the part of every married couple does not guarantee that every couple will be blessed with the gift of children. For many couples, the desire to have children as the expression of their love is not realized for reasons that only God knows. However, couples that cannot conceive children remain faithful to the promise they made on their wedding day to the extent that they are open to the possibility of having children and nurture human life in all its forms. The inability to conceive children does not render a marriage invalidor unfruitful.

While the absence of children for many couples is a painful reality, the desire to have children at all costs should never lead couples to use artificial means by which to conceive them. Artificial means of conception are morally unacceptable because they separate the unitive and procreative aspects of married love that exist within the act of conjugal sex. Further, many artificial means of conception often involve the fertilization of many eggs taken from the potential mother, resulting in the implantation of only one egg in the mother’s womb. The remainder of the fertilized eggs that are not implanted are either discarded or destroyed. The grave moral implications of these procedures are clear.  It is true that modern medicine does provide a number of means, including fertility drugs, that can assist couples to conceive children through natural intercourse. For this reason, I commend all married couples to respect the union that must always exist between the unitive and procreative aspects of their love in the conception of children.

           The family has also been called the “domestic church” by the Second Vatican Council.[iv] This means that each family is a small church through which the greater Church, the Body of Christ, is built.  Without an openness to life in our domestic church, the whole Church is greatly diminished. 

          The Christian family is also the cradle of faith and Christian formation.  There is no better or more effective means of communicating the faith than the family itself.  It is in the family where the ability to love is first learned.  That ability itself is what allows families to experience communion and sharing.  The family, in effect, is the school of life.  It is the school in which people are made.  It is, in fact, the most difficult school that anyone ever attends because the true lessons of life are learned there.  The home is the domestic church, the sanctuary in which sacrifices are made and holiness of life grows. 

          The Christian family must also be the foundation of the life of our parishes.  Many times parish communities refer to themselves as the family of St. Mary’s, St. Joseph’s or whatever their patron may be.  I pray that each of our parishes refer to themselves in this way and live as true families.  It is a great challenge to make a parish a family of families, to have the same love for the domestic church reflected within the parish community and to unify it in love. Yet, it is true that strong families create strong parishes and, in effect, a strong Diocese.  This is the challenge that I wish to address in this pastoral letter, as we find ways together to strengthen our individual families, our parish families and our diocesan family of faith.

The Two Great Challenges Facing the Christian Family

          Two great challenges confront all Christian families in our modern American society. The first are cultural and societal influences that weaken family unity. The second is a spirit of relativism that is part of our cultural mentality.  We must briefly examine each of these challenges.

          First, there are strong societal and cultural influences that have led to the weakening of many Catholic marriages.  For example, there is a prevalent attitude of materialism that leaves little room for the recognition of the presence of God in our daily life.  With this attitude, marriage becomes a means of economic advancement or a mere social convention or contract. Marriage is no longer seen or understood as the sacred covenant that it is.  Our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, said recently in an address on Family and the Christian Community, “Marriage and the family are not in fact a chance sociological construction, the product of particular historical and financial situations.  On the other hand, the question of the right relationship between the man and the woman is rooted in the essential core of the human being and it is only by starting from here that its response can be found.”[v]

          Another manifestation of this materialistic attitude is reflected in the growing use of prenuptial agreements.  Such agreements presume that marriage is only a legal contract and envision the division of assets in the event that a marriage does not last. Their use suggests that such a break-up is inevitable. These agreements are contrary to the Christian understanding of marriage as a lifelong covenant that does not end by choice but desires to live a lifelong commitment.  In a profound way, the covenant of marriage reflects the loving covenant that God has made with His people. Thus, if seen from a purely materialistic point of view, marriage seems to make little sense in our day and age.  Perhaps this is why many couples avoid even a civil contract of marriage, much less a sacramental marriage, and prefer just to live together.

           Another cultural influence is what has been called a “contraceptive mentality” that leads to a complete misunderstanding of conjugal love.  It is imperative that the Church’s teachings regarding the ability of families to limit the number of their children should be properly understood.  The Church has never taught that couples must have an unlimited number of children.  Rather, families should only have the number of children that they can properly support.  The means of family limitation, however, must be natural and not artificial.  Unfortunately, the use of various contraceptives has become almost part and parcel of many marriages.  Worse yet, the use of abortion as a means to limit the size of families is a grave evil and a complete misunderstanding of the right to life that begins in the womb.  Unless we are able to convince ourselves that we can do better, we only will do worse. 

The Diocese of Brooklyn is committed to help our families to understand the various forms of natural family planning that are both safe and effective. These methods allow couples to take advantage of the naturally infertile periods in a marriage, thereby limiting conception in a natural way, according to the ability of the family to support children.  Unfortunately, this teaching of the Church is widely misunderstood.  As a Diocese we must work together with families to have information better understood among ourselves and in the world.

Relativism

           Our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, recently observed, “We are moving towards a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as certain and which has as its highest goal one's own ego and one's own desires.”[vi]  Relativism is an attitude or worldview that understands the human person as the definer of all meaning and truth. It affirms that all objective truth and reality can no longer be discovered by an individual directly.  This means that all truth is created by each individual according to his or her needs.   In short, relativism believes that God is not the creator and revealer of truth, we are.

          The detrimental effects of this relativistic attitude upon our life of faith is profound.  If all that we see comes from our own perspective and point of view, we see very little.  There is no belief in objective truth that can be found through reason, much less through revelation.  We are locked into a self-defined reality.

          The effects of relativism upon marriage and family life are equally devastating.  First, the true nature of freedom is misunderstood.  Freedom becomes, “whatever I want or can do.”  Personal choice, privacy and all of the attitudes that follow become dominant in the life of the family.  Therefore, we see these attitudes played out with devastating results, including the outright abandonment of responsibilities by fathers[vii] and even mothers for their children. The phenomenon of broken families, single-parent families and other manifestations of family life under stress abounds. While it is difficult for the Church to minister to all these needs, it must do so in order to bring healing and hope to the many families that struggle in our midst.

          Another major cause of broken family life is the growing acceptance in society of many palliatives that offer temporary escape from our personal problems.  The use of alcohol, drugs, and the many other addictions that afflict us serve as destructive powers that tear apart the ability of families to truly become places of love and commitment. They are never the answer to our personal or family problems.

           Another effect of relativism upon family life is seen in the inability of many individuals to make a commitment that lasts for a lifetime.  Many approach marriage with the understanding that “if it does not work well, we can try something else or find someone else.”  This attitude misunderstands the true meaning of freedom because it believes that freedom is the ability to keep one’s options open. Relativism reduces freedom to the desire not to get tied down, not to have a responsibility that goes beyond what I believe it should be.  Sadly, we see the unfortunate dissolution of marriages among Catholics at a rate that mirrors the general divorce rate in our society. Many individuals also approach marriage with a “divorce mentality” in which divorce becomes the logical option if difficulties arise in a marriage.   “Have you not read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and declared, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two shall become as one’? Thus they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, let no man separate what God has joined” (Mt. 19:   4-6) is the injunction that Christ Himself gives us regarding the sacramental nature of marriage.  How hard we must work to convince the members of the Church that this is truly God’s will for humankind.

            The wisdom of the Church, however, can also be used to identify those troubled marriages that never began properly and have ended in divorce.  The reconciliation work of the Marriage Tribunal of the Diocese is designed to assist individuals whose marriages have ended in divorce and can be annulled, most often so a new marriage can be entered into.  I pledge that the Diocese will continue to assist all those who wish to pursue the annulment process as well as devise special preparation programs for those who wish to remarry.

          Unfortunately, relativism also attempts to redefine marriage.  Marriage becomes not a sacrament but rather a convenience.  Our society tells us that we can reshape marriage into whatever we want it to be, whether in the form of cohabitation without either civil or religious commitment or in so-called “same-sex marriages” which only mimic a marital commitment.[viii]  Our Holy Father gave a clear message on the dangers of relativism when he said, “Consequently, it is clear that not only must we seek to get the better of relativism in our work of forming people, but we are also called to counter its destructive predominance in society and culture.”[ix]

          It is clear from the above descriptions that there are many difficulties confronting family life today.  Before such challenges, what is our recourse?  In what ways can we help strengthen family life?  Perhaps the Holy Family of Nazareth can teach us what we need to know.

 “The Family at Nazareth”:  Three Principles for the Renewal of Family Life

          The Holy Family of Nazareth, the family formed by Jesus, Mary and Joseph, can teach the world three principles for the renewal of family life.  We look to the Holy Family of Nazareth because it is the perfect model of what makes a family holy. We must never forget that the Holy Family faced enormous struggles in its daily life. For example, they experienced real poverty and exile. Saint Joseph also faced the challenge of raising a child that was not his own.   However, with Jesus at its center and Mary and Joseph taking parental care of the Lord, we find a true communion of love that mirrors the love of the Trinity in a way that no other family has ever been able to achieve.  It is in the Holy Family that we can find a model for our own family life. As Pope Benedict XVI suggests, “The same is, of course, also true for all our missionary commitment, and particularly for the pastoral care of families; therefore, may the Family of Nazareth be for our families and our communities the object of constant and confident prayer as well as their life model.”[x]

First Principle:  The Holy Family Is the Model of True Fidelity and Human Freedom

          First, we need to rediscover the power of fidelity and the meaning of true freedom.  To be faithful means to have the ability to overcome obstacles.  Overcoming obstacles demands a freedom from constraint and an ability to go beyond what seems possible and to find the true possibilities of our human condition. The Holy Family of Nazareth experienced poverty and exile that mirrors the experience of so many of our families here in Brooklyn and Queens. New immigrants find themselves in a position of what might be called “exile” from their home countries.  They struggle to make a living, to support their families here and abroad.  They confront on a daily basis an inability to acquire the basic necessities of life, including paying their rent, buying the food they need and educating their children as they wish.  These challenges are as present now as they were in the past.

 The Holy Family of Nazareth also experienced sorrow and death. Mary witnessed the death of her Son, the sacrifice of a child for the salvation of the world.   Similarly, too many families see their children sacrificed in a society that does not respect their human dignity but draws them into ever-diabolical schemes of addiction and dissipation.  Yet, in the face of all of these struggles, the Holy Family remained faithful to each other and endured the challenges before them.  Our families must imitate this holy example and do the same.  The members of each family must draw closer together, reaffirm their commitment to remain faithful to one another and exercise their mutual responsibilities in a more vibrant way.  Only in this way will the trust and love that the Holy Family had in the love and providence of God the Father be replicated in our own family life. 

          Christians believe that when we make a commitment in freedom, we are not diminished as persons because we have fewer options but we realize our true good as individuals made in the image and likeness of God.   Freedom is not just the ability to make choices, but rather the ability to choose what is good in every circumstance of life.  Church philosophers of the past have taught us that even when we choose what seems to be wrong we often do so because we mistakenly believe it to be something good.  We are created for the good and our true eternal happiness lies in choosing the good as revealed by God.  We must search for that good.  We must choose not only what we like or want but we must also go beyond satisfying our personal needs.  True freedom also means that we can break the cycle of addiction, change addictive personalities and restore broken lives that we find both in our families and our society.

          What are the free choices that families must rediscover in order to remain faithful to God and each other? Spouses must make a daily conscious decision to love each other without preconditions or manipulation. Husbands and wives must also choose to communicate openly and honestly, sharing their most intimate hopes, dreams and struggles with each other. As parents, they must make the choice to be responsible parents and to transform their homes into “safe havens,” wherein their children feel safe, protected and free to express themselves and to be accepted in love. Those parents who can also make the choice to adopt children or serve as foster parents are to be commended for the selfless exercise of their Christian freedom in love. Finally, children of all ages must make the choice each day to respect their parents and grandparents and learn from their wisdom and example. Only when the members of our families begin to make these free choices in faith will our families begin to find the joy and peace that they so richly deserve.

          One of the programs I have asked Catholic Charities to undertake is a Parish Addiction Intervention Program whereby parishes will be assisted in helping families cope with the addictions that assail them.  Certainly, this is a central problem of many families today.  As a Church we must do all in our power to help families overcome these difficulties.

          The Holy Family of Nazareth clearly demonstrates the power of fidelity and how important it is to stand by our promises.  Joseph and Mary, even though they did not understand Mary’s pregnancy before they came to live together, trusted in the message they had received from divine messengers.  Joseph did not abandon his family at its very beginning, nor when he was called to leave his home and flee.  Mary remained at the side of her Son even during His passion and death.  The fidelity of the Holy Family can only inspire us to be more faithful to the commitments we make as family members.  Mothers and fathers must frequently stand by their children in the midst of the tragedies of modern life such as a pregnancy outside of marriage or destructive behavior that results from addiction. Many families also experience tragic deaths all too frequently here in Brooklyn and Queens, whether by accidents or criminal behavior.  Fidelity is certainly put to the test in our daily experience.  Only with God’s grace can we live our commitments as individuals and family members in a faithful way.

Second Principle:  The Holy Family of Nazareth Remained Humble before God.

          Despite the societal pressures that they faced, the Holy Family of Nazareth remained humble before God.  Mary and Joseph recognized their total dependency upon God.  They knew the true meaning of obedience, which is the need to discover the will of God for us in our daily lives and to ask for the strength to follow that divine will.  It is avoiding the more common question, “what do I want to do?” and to ask the more important question, “what does God want me to do?” Families truly must rediscover the true meaning of obeying God’s will in their lives in order to prosper. 

          What does God want our families to do today?  How does God want us to be faithful to the marriage commitment with humility that allows us to be docile before God’s laws and commands?  Obedience begins by recognizing those God-given realities that are not ours to change.  As Saint Augustine reminds us, we are created for God and “our hearts are restless until we rest in Thee.”[xi] Further, although the life of every family is at times filled with difficulties, families are also the place where we can experience great joy.  At many liturgies, I frequently ask family members whether it is “fun” to be in their family.  It is a question that can be answered from the youngest who can speak, to the oldest in the family.  What is the “fun” we seek?  It is the true joy we experience when we are at peace with one another and with God.  When family is the place we want to be, among the people we love most, we discover where we direct our restlessness back to God, the source of all life and love and become truly obedient to the plan of creation described in Genesis.  We read, “God created man in his image, in the divine image he created them, male and female he created them…God looked at everything he had made and found it very good” (Gen. 1: 27, 31a). Indeed, family life is very good.  It is the best that God has given us in order that we can fulfill His divine plan. 

Third Principle:  ­ The Holy Family of Nazareth at Prayer

          A third characteristic that animated the life of the Holy Family is clearly described in the Scriptures.  We read in the Gospel of Luke that the Holy Family of Nazareth journeyed together to pray in the temple of Jerusalem when the boy Jesus was lost (Lk 2: 41-52). This incident teaches us that the Holy Family of Nazareth was a religious Jewish family fulfilling their obligation to worship.  Father Patrick Peyton, a Holy Cross Father of happy memory, made famous that statement, “The family that prays together stays together,” in his apostolate for the family Rosary.  How true it is that the family that attends the celebration of the Eucharist together each Sunday finds a strength that helps to unite them.  Without prayer and a relationship with the Lord Jesus, what can help hold our families together? I dare say little else can.

The heart of every family must be God Himself.  Every family must make a concerted decision to center themselves on a common life of prayer--prayer before meals, prayer at the end of the day, the family Rosary, the reading of Scripture, visits to church together and most especially the Sunday Eucharist.  How sad it is that many of our own children who attend our Catholic schools do not attend Mass on Sunday either by themselves or with their families.  Equally disturbing is to hear that many of the children who attend our Religious Education programs are dropped off by their families only to be picked up after class without attending Mass by themselves or with their families. These examples are cited not to disparage our families but to encourage them to build on the goodness that they already possess. Nonetheless, the lack of prayer in our families will lead to the further erosion both of the life of the Church and our families.

          There is hope and a place for all in the Church, even for those who for whatever reason do not always practice their faith.  The dialogue between Saint Peter and the Roman Centurion named Cornelius, a pagan who was “devout and God-fearing along with his whole family” (Acts 10:2), is instructive in this regard.  We read, “Then Peter proceeded to speak and said,  ‘In truth, I see that God shows no partiality…who fears Him and acts uprightly is acceptable to Him’” (Acts 10: 34-36). Very often good people, even some baptized Catholics, try to raise their families without using all the means that God has given to assist them in their daily life, especially the gift of faith and the support of the Church. We must never tire of opening wide the doors of our churches to welcome all the baptized as members of our family of faith and seek ways to reconcile them to God and the Church.

The Christian Family and the New Evangelization

            The Christian family has an integral role in the New Evangelization because it is only through the fostering of vibrant families that the work of the New Evangelization can begin in earnest. 

First Task: 

          The first task given to all families in the New Evangelization builds upon the fact that families are the primary witnesses to faith in their daily lives.  Faith is a divine gift that is nourished not only by formal teaching but must also be “caught” or experienced through the witness of believers.  The lives of truly happy families are the best witness to Catholic faith and the best means to evangelize the world at the disposal of the Church.  Families can also be witnesses to the true meaning of love.  Families must be communities of shared values and self-giving.  What a joy it is to see happy families worshiping together and living their lives together joyfully.

          The principal place where the Christian formation of children takes place is the family. Since the laity has received a baptismal call to witness to the Gospel in the midst of the world, then this call cannot be lived without first having it realized in each Christian family. We proclaim in the Sacrament of Baptism that parents are to be “the first and the best teachers of the faith.”  The primary responsibility for the transmission of the Catholic faith to our children falls to parents.  The Church can assist them but cannot take the responsibility away from them.  Parents must help form their children by the witness of their lives and help create families that truly strive for holiness and integrity.  For example, the best way to teach children the true meaning of Christian marriage is for parents to live their marriage well. Concretely, parents must give an example of faith that is consistent and genuine by attending Mass on Sunday, praying daily and living a true witness to Gospel values with the expectation that their children will do the same.  This important task given to all Catholic families is of vital importance both to the transmission of the faith and the work of the New Evangelization. 

Second Task:

          A second task given specifically to families by the New Evangelization involves vocations. More specifically, the primary birthplace for vocations to the priesthood, diaconate and religious life occurs within families.  The call to give one’s life to God must first be heard in a family that gives life to the child.  The example of selfless giving is first learned in our families.  The ability to answer a call from the Lord must be nurtured in families.  Parents need to appreciate and foster vocations to the priestly and religious life, as well as build a foundation for new and firm Christian families for those whose vocation is the married life. Unfortunately, in our modern society, children discerning a priestly or religious vocation often face reticence and even resistance from their families, rather than encouragement or support.  There are many reasons for this situation, including the desire of parents to have grandchildren, negative repercussions regarding sexual abuse by clergy, or even worse, the mistaken desire for their children to enjoy material success without recognizing the greater spiritual values that come from self-giving in a priestly or religious vocation.  Parental support is crucial to support vocations and a task given to each parent by the New Evangelization. 

          Equally, grandparents must also encourage and foster vocations. For many children, grandparents are the spiritual link to the Church.  Many parents today do not know how to communicate their faith that perhaps was not taught well or transmitted to them.  The Church has a great responsibility today to form teachers, catechists and parishioners who can act as the child’s extended family and can support the family in their basic role of transmitting faith.  Sacramental preparation programs are essential to the New Evangelization and the re-evangelization of our Catholic people.   Every effort must be made to make these programs interesting and effective.

Renewed Diocesan Support for the Family

          As we prepare for our diocesan celebration of Closing of the Eucharistic Year scheduled for Saturday, October 15, 2005 at KeySpan Park in Coney Island, we will gather as a diocesan family to pray for the strengthening and growth of all Catholic families that form the foundations of our parishes and schools. Our gathering is entitled “One Bread, One Body, One Family in Christ,” andreminds us of the unity that we share in the Eucharist and our life of faith as the family of God. We also recognize the responsibility that the Diocese of Brooklyn has to give greater support to family life here in Brooklyn and Queens.  There are many concrete initiatives already under way that will support this commitment. 

First, work is nearly completed that will revise and expand our diocesan Pre-Cana marriage preparation program. The Church, as the custodian and dispenser of the divine sacraments, has provided various opportunities over the years for couples that wish to marry in the Church, so that they can be properly prepared to celebrate the sacrament of marriage together. These programs are designed to help couples to reflect upon the meaning of their commitment and to prepare for the life they will live after they are married. The Pre-Cana Task Force has recommended a new, dynamic and innovative series of proposals for our Pre-Cana programs that will address the spiritual and personal needs of those couples that wish to marry in the Church.  More specifically, we will provide engaged couples instruction over the Internet, an opportunity to gather one evening in prayer and spend an entire Saturday learning the skills they will need to have a successful relationship. We will do this by recognizing not only cultural and linguistic differences that exist in our Diocese, but also the different situations that our couples face, including those who are re-marrying after obtaining an annulment, future spouses who do not share our Catholic faith and those who were previously cohabitating.  All of these situations demand specific and special programs to assist couples to enter the Sacrament of Marriage in the best possible way. We are also blessed that over eighty new couples have been trained over the past year to assist our current Pre-Cana ministers to implement this new Pre-Cana program beginning in January 2006. 

There are many other programs of assistance, in addition to Pre-Cana, that can help couples contemplating marriage to discern their ability to sustain a life-long commitment to one another, including Engaged Encounter and a number of parish- and cluster-based programs.  For married couples that wish to strengthen their life together and overcome the obstacles that they face, they can attend Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille Weekends, marriage counseling offered through Catholic Charities and the newly created Parish Addiction Intervention Program. Furthermore, I am committed to the creation of additional programs to assist married couples to live happy and fruitful lives.

          I also call upon our priests, deacons and women and men in consecrated life to assist in the Pre-Cana formation programs with a new vigor and commitment, ensuring that we meet the needs of all who come to us seeking preparation and guidance before they begin their married life.

          There is also a new diocesan initiative to educate our married couples concerning Natural Family Planning.  Explaining the Church’s teaching in this important area is not enough. We must make available to couples the best, up-to-date and easiest methods available for practicing Natural Family Planning.  We have appointed a new diocesan coordinator for Natural Family Planning who will be able to coordinate the efforts of both the Office of Family Life and local clusters and parishes to achieve this important goal.

          Second, there is a need to renew the vision of Christian formation that is inclusive for all Catholics at every age of life, from birth to elder years.  Our Christian formation programs must become holistic in nature and address the needs of the entire person to grow in the knowledge, love and practice of the Catholic faith.  Further, these programs must be able to help and assist every adult to foster Christian family life.  Husbands and wives, as well as children, need to be formed in a way that will allow Christian family life to flourish in the era of the New Evangelization. 

          Earlier this year I established a study committee to review our religious education programs and to provide a comprehensive vision of the purpose and mission of religious education and formation for the future.  The Diocese of Brooklyn is committed to renew our current religious education practices in order to strengthen our efforts at holistic faith formation. 

It is also imperative that all of our diocesan agencies and our clusters and parishes reach out to those families who are in crisis and are facing great challenges.  In many ways, the programs of Catholic Charities can be of great assistance to families in crisis.  We must look to the needs of single-parent families and assist the efforts of extended families that today are charged with the raising of children.  Grandparents frequently are raising grandchildren with special challenges and burdens.  There are also foster and adoptive families who deserve our attention and support.  The needs of the elderly who are either assisted in families or live in isolation and need family contact must also be addressed.  There are those who are re-married outside of the Church and look to the Church as their home but do not find a place of welcome.  Most recently, our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, being questioned about the admittance of divorced and re-married Catholics to the Eucharist said, “…even if these people cannot go to sacramental Communion, they are not excluded from the love of the Church or from the love of Christ.  A Eucharist without immediate sacramental Communion is not of course complete; it lacks an essential dimension.  Nonetheless, it is also true that taking part in the Eucharist without Eucharistic Communion is not the same as nothing; it still means being involved in the mystery of the Cross and Resurrection of Christ.  It is still participating in the great Sacrament in its spiritual and pneumatic dimensions, and also in its ecclesial dimension, although this is not strictly sacramental.”[xii]  Development of programs for the divorced and re-married must also be a part of our commitment to strengthen our families.

          The challenges before us are many but we are resolved to pursue even greater efforts in the support of all families, especially those in various types of need.

Conclusion

          As we approach our diocesan celebration of the family at KeySpan Park on October 15, in a place where the Church will gather in a sports stadium usually reserved for baseball and fun, we bring the Church’s commitment to family life there in the midst of the world.  We dedicate ourselves anew to the Holy Family of Nazareth who knew pain and suffering but nonetheless triumphed despite the challenges it faced because of the presence of Jesus in their midst.  So, too, we bring our families to the Eucharistic presence of the Lord Jesus, that He might give them strength and courage and enable them to mirror the love and concern He Himself experienced in the Holy Family of Nazareth.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~